Emotions in Motherhood
The one thing that no one told me about when becoming a mom was the intense emotions you feel at times while also trying to manage your little's one emotions. It's like trying to keep a boat steady in a storm. You're holding the wheel, steering through the waves of your own emotions, while also guiding your children through their own rough water. Sometimes the seas are calm, other times the waves crash in from every direction, but you know that staying centered helps everyone ride out the storm together.
I have learned so many things in past 7 years when it comes to my emotions as a mother. My journey towards self-growth was stumbled upon by an accident. My mom had boguht some faith subscription box for me and one of them contained the Oola book. Up to this point I have never read for fun. Becaue I thought reading was boring little did I know I just needed to find the right book that interested me. I was staying at home with our oldest daughter and I was bored. She wasn't much or talking yet and I felt like I had so much time on my hands so I picked up the book and gave it try. Little did I know I would read throuhg it in less than a week. It was than that I realized how muhc I loved growing my mind and bettering myself to truly be the best version God has creatd me to be.
The biggest thing I have learned that helps when you want to have a big reaction or your child is having a big reaction is changing your mindset. Truly focusing and putting yourself in their shoes. Getting down on their level if that helps you. Once you take a step back from your world and enter their world you realize why they feel the way they do. Just like us when our emotions get too big it has nothing to do with thatone thing that just happened it is usually something or many things leading up to that event.
I was doing a bible study and one of the things it had said was some people cover up their emotions because they are afraid they won't be able to get out of those once they enter. I felt that to my core. I have alwasy struggled with emotions. I have often been called emotionless or heartless because I won't just cry at every sad thing. I feel it all inside of me, but breathe through it. I stuff it-not a good coping mechanism I know. But it's where I feel safe with my emotions. The one thing that changes when my emotions change is my breathing. I hold it a lot in times of frustration to prevent myself from blwoing up or sadness to prevent myself from crying. But my kids often will hear me let a big breath out when I am frustrated becasue that is my way of recognzing how I feel but also wanting t make a choice that I won't regret after the feelings have passed.
I don't want to be remebered as the mom that freaked out every time someone spilt their food or drink on the floor. I don't want to be rememebred as the mom who had to constanly clean makign my children feel like they can't enjoy their play if it's not neat and tidy. I don't want to be remmebered as the who when she gets overwhelemed she blows.
I want to be remembered as the mom who leaned on God for strength when she felt like she had nothign left to give. I want to be remmebered as the mom who forgave easily and didn't scare the kids over something so silly. I want to be remembered as the mom who can regualte her emotions that when my kids grow up they come to me during their storm and feel sense of calm.
To the person who is reading this:
I don't know your story. I don't know your past. But one thing I do know is that if you truly want to change your behavior you can. It's going to take a lot of hard work. You are going to mess up BUT you are going to have some wins. Soon the small things start to feel easier to control. If you have been labeled some type of emotion: crabby, depressed, annoying, or dare I even say bitchy ( Sorry God!) YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY THAT LABEL!! Those are feelings not labels. We are meant to feel God gave us those feelings for a reason the good and the bad ones. You get decide how you want to be rembered. It doesn't matter how old or young your kids are change starts right now , but you have to show up every single day and put in the work, esepcailly on the dyas you don't want to. I freaking beleive that you can do this if you truly want it.
Now for the fun stuff all my resourses!
Instagram Accounts:
Simply on Purpose
I lovve this account so much! It was the first positive parenting account I had come across. Ralphie explains real life scenarios in such an amzing way. I have bought her parenting course and I truly believe every parent should listen to it because it really does change your perspective on how your kids think, how you treat them, and how it all has an effect. She also has a monthly subscription that gets sent righto your emailing helping you teach really great life skills to your kids in a fun an interactive way for ages 4 and up. I use it in our homeschool curriculm and we all love it. A few topics we have done are: stand up for yourself, let's be freinds, build a friendship, and take care of yer treasures.
Tessa Romero
She is also one of my favrotie accounts. She does an incredible job when it comes to showing the negative thoughts that we can often hav in motherhood and turning our way of thinking in thoses situations into a postive thought. I have bought her alignment journaling course. I process my thoguhts best through writing so it was and has been a huge benefit to me. The biggest things that I take away from the journaling is accepting the feelings you have regrets with and letting them go. Being a able to have a positive self talk towards yourself when it comes to your feelings, what. you want ot accomplsih, and how you ae going to take those steps even when bumps in the road come up.
Podcasts
What I love about podcasts is you can pick and choose what topic speaks to you while you are doing a hosuehold chore that you maybe don't like so much and it makes that chore go a little faster and may be a little more enjoyable.
The Momset Podcast
Tessa Romero also has a podcast where she goes in a little deeper on certain topics.
The 1000s Hours Outside Podcast
I pick and choose from the episodes, but I feel like it always gives me a new persepctive on my kids and how they act and think. Also, encourages me to have less screen time and more time together outside.
The Peaceful Mind Podcast
LOVE all of her podcasts! Also, I like that she brings faith in as well.
Focus On Parenting Podcasts
Good perspectives from a Christian parent's point of view.
Good Inside With Dr. Becky
This lady is a genius! She expalins scenarios (and brings parents in these situtions at the moment) and how to handle it. I really like how she will give real life examples and dailouge on how to talk with kids not just hwat you should do. Heck sometimes I even use it when I talk with adults lol.
The Lazy Genius (also has a book)
This is not emotions for moms BUT I do think big emotions often come from other things stressing them out in life. SHe has some really awesome tips htat have helped me when it comes to manage what works for me not trying to have this perfec tidyt house at all. times that looks like it is never lived in.
Books
I CAN NOT suggest this book enough. He also has a podcast if you are into self growth. I read this book in 3 days and I already want to go and read it again. It talks about the importance of protecting your inner peace so you can show up for the ones you love and how to do that.
This is by the same lady who does THe Peaceful Mind Podcast and helps moms control their emotions so that the ones aroudn you arn't getting hurt.
I haven't read this one yet but I listened to him talk on The 1000 Hours Podcast and it's all about not needing to ne known at wokr but be konw at home as if we are walking on a red carpet when we walk in th door becasue at home is where our best work is done.
Hunt Gather Parent
I haven't finished this but I'm super interested in it and it's about different ways cultures parent and how Americas are doign it wrong and why we are causing our kids and us to be stressed out.
Untangle Your Emotions
I am in the middle of this at the moment BUT every single mom should read it. I am readiing the book and doing the bible study that goes along with it. But it is so good I can't speak highly enough about it.
Five Final Thoughts
You are going to mess up on this journey and that's ok-keep going
Don't be afraid to apoligize to your kids and tell them why you are feeling that way that doesn't make the child feel shame but isntead just lets them have a little peak inside your world
Unfollow account that make you feel like you are sucking as a parent if you are playing the compare game constantly-parenting acccount are tools not score keepers
Let go of the things that truly don't matter-like you may tell your kid's"it's not htat big ofa deal"
Use the resoruces that wokr for you becasue nothing is a one size fits all
I want to finish with saying I am no way perfect. I mess up a lot but the big differnce is I am willing to try and not give up when things get hard. God doesn't give up on me why should I give up on my kids. They deserve a mom who loves them, who is open minded when it comes to "arguing." a mom who truly listens and doesn't just dictate.
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